Gordon Brown: Scottish Independence Could Severely Hinder Scots Benefits System

FIFE - Scotland - Gordon Brown has warned that breaking up the United Kingdom would lead to the Scottish losing billions of pounds worth of benefits and welfare which they get from England.

 The former Prime Minister said the Union between England and Scotland was based on the “leeching of English resources” that meant Scottish citizens benefitting from the welfare state would suffer if they were to ever split from England.

“Where are you going to get your booze and fags from when you ain’t got no more money from down South? We’ve been bleeding those sassenach bastards dry for years. You don’t want to work do you? Well, stop with this Independence nonsense you bawbags.”

Mr Brown also warned that transferring financial powers only to the Scottish Parliament would mean SNP ministers having to cut spending or increase taxes to balance the books.

“Independence would be a nightmare for us. Imagine having to increase taxes on booze and ciggies. What about the benefits where you don’t have to work but drink all day and spike your fuckin’ veins? If the Southern bastards stop paying, who’s going to pay for it? You might have to get a job.” Mr Brown added.

The end of the 300-year-old union with England would be a major blow for about 87% of Scottish people who are unemployed and have never worked a day in their life living off benefits from the English taxpayer.

“I’ve ne’er worked a mingin day in mah life an’ ah gie £2,500 a week in benefits nae includin’ mah hoosin’ benefit, cooncil tax benefit an’ free methadain, cheb implants frae th’ NHS. Whit th’ feck am ah gonnae dae withit ‘at? Aam scunnurt and illiterate, lazee an’ reek loch booze aw th’ time. Alex Salmond, ye Shrek lookalike, gonnae-no feckin’ wi’ mah benefits frae Englain,” Carol McFenster, 26, a single unemployed Aberdeen woman with fourteen children from different partners, told The Scotsman newspaper.