Euro Crisis Voted Most Boring News Event of All Time

BRUSSELS - Belgium - A panel of 20,000 people have deemed the Euro crisis the most boring thing they've ever had to endure.

“I’d rather watch my toe nails grow or stick spikes in my ear holes. If I ever hear or see another bit of Euro nonsense I’m going to commit an atrocity,” Jean Beddlemarker, a disgruntled baker from Bruges, Brussels, told the Euro Voice newspaper.

John Albright, a teacher from Manchester, England, said: “It’s getting ridiculous now, every time I pick up a newspaper, watch a news story or listen to someone speak in the street, it’s all about the eurozone and Greece. Chuck the ingrates out, if they want to leave let them leave. I’m sick of it. Blast the sods to the moon for all I care, and as for transaction taxes in the City, stuff ’em. Put up or shut up Cammo, you yellow bellied pork rind sniffing weasel. Get Britain out of the EU and tell those shisters to bog off. No one has any balls anymore. Get on with it you bastards. What would Winston Churchill have done? Well, do the same thing you blithering idiots.”

There was also mass revulsion for the so-called leader of the EU, the cowardly faceless spineless piss boy, Herman van Rompuy.

“Let’s be honest, he looks like a paedo, and he has no voice. He’s got no charisma, has no leadership qualities whatsoever and as well as being a humourless twat, is slow to react to anything that happens in the eurozone. All in all, a dithering faceless eurocrat with a huge taxpayer funded salary and no remit to run the EU in any shape or form. A chimpanzee could do a better job than that cretin. He has no ability to make decisions, or plan anything, basically, he’s an overpaid useless scumbag who needs to be tossed from the Tower of Babel EU headquarters in Brussels. When he lands head first on the pavement and dashes his pea brain out the side of his thick skull, then the EU might have a chance. Otherwise, as long as this moronic piece of detritous is in charge, you can bet your bottom dollar that the euro will reach parity with the dollar. As for your pensions, your savings, your properties, your salaries, you can kiss those goodbye too, because the EU is a train wreck,” another disgruntled EU citizen ranted.

Someone or something please deliver us from this boredom.