17.7 C
Tuesday, May 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldTortured 911 'Masterminds' Confess to Anything

Tortured 911 'Masterminds' Confess to Anything

GUANTANAMO BAY - Cuba - If you keep someone awake forcibly for 180 hours straight, they will confess to anything. These are the torture methods used on the 911 suspects.

“Are you trying to tell me that a bunch of Arabs who could not fly airplanes conducted highly skilled manoeuvres on very complicated machines at 650 mph to crash into the twin towers? Are you trying to tell me that the towers just crumbled like a pack of cards that defied the laws of gravity with their speed? Are you trying to tell me that Tower 7 just collapsed out of nowhere even though it was not hit by a single rock or crumb? Are you trying to tell me that a 757 fit into a tiny hole in the Pentagon and that an Arab dude who did not know how to fly an airplane flew it perfectly three feet over the Pentagon lawn smashing the plane through many levels of reinforced concrete and steel walls? Let’s look at the facts here. Who profited from 911? Cui bono? Certainly was not any Arab,” a disgusted lawyer said from the mainland USA.

There is legitimacy in the fact that if you torture someone enough, they will confess to anything.

“That’s true. These guys could’ve confessed to Mickey Mouse eating out their sisters, if it was so wished,” another lawyer said.

Even these people who are being held by the Americans had anything to do with 911, they certainly would not be able to mastermind such an operation, because it would take the logistics of an agency much larger than a few people to pull off.

“The American government didn’t scramble one single fighter jet plane during the 911 attacks. George W Bush did not leave his class room. If you read the PNAC you will read in plain sight that the 911 ‘Pearl Harbour event’ was planned many years in advance. Any Arabs working for the so-called ‘jihadist’ bogey men do not know who they are actually working for at the top of the pyramid. They are told they are working for Allah purely to motivate the brainwashed pawns. They only see someone a few tiers below the actual person or agency which is really pulling the strings. Islam is now the new bogey, the new pariah, the new enemy that America needed after the death of the Cold War threat. The threat of Islamic terrorism has been used by countless governments to close down democratic freedom and bring in pre-planned draconian laws,” a political theorist from Washington DC told Capitol Hill News.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »