John Cleese Involved in Rickshaw Accident in Piccadilly Circus

LONDON - England - Monty Python veteran, John Cleese, was recovering today in hospital after being involved in a rickshaw accident in Piccadilly Circus, his agent has disclosed.

Mr Cleese, who was in the UK for a brief tour to pay for another divorce settlement, was involved in a rickshaw pileup on the junction between Regent Street and Piccadilly Circus.

No Christmas in heaven this time

Speaking from London’s Royal Free hospital in Hampstead, Cleese revealed more details about the horrendous crash which also resulted in two rickshaw drivers tragically losing their lives: “I had just left a Polish shop (Sklep) after buying some pickled cabbage, and was about to go to a Somali cafĂ© next to where Fortnum’s used to be, when there was an almighty crash. At first, I thought to myself that I had bought it, and I would have to make a trip with the grim reaper, when I realised, no, there was no salmon mousse involved at all. These two buggering rickshaw wallahs had gone and crashed into a cow, well soon enough we had about a dozen coolies around us dragging the drivers out of their rickshaws, and they took them to a nearby lamp post near a kebab shop and lynched them there and then. I’m getting too old for this, I need to get back to Beverly Hills straight away.”

London is famous for its traffic jams and frequent multiple vehicle pileups.

“The beauty about the London roads is that no one knows where they’re really going plus you’ll have rickshaws, black cabs, buses, cows, goats, sheep and horse-drawn carriages. Pretty much every form of vehicle or animal on the road, all vying for the same spot. No one cares about traffic lights either, and the basic rule of the road is, whoever has the biggest vehicle or gun has the right of way,” Chandra Harami, a spokesman for London Transport told the BBC.