First Lady, Michelle Obama, has been told by Congress that she will have to pay back the American taxpayer the funds appropriated by her and her entourage over the course of 2011 for her multiple unauthorised vacations.
“I am ashamed that I have taken advantage of the American taxpayer, especially in this time of need for many Americans who are struggling to live and put food on table for their families. I was living a bling lifestyle, I am essentially a thief who has stolen from the American people. Please, let me pay you all back. Barry, go right a cheque for the American people for $10 million. You can use the government cheque book for that,” Mrs Obama said whilst enjoying a foot rub on a deckchair by the Olympic sized pool.
Mrs Obama has taken 57 holidays this year alone and each with massive entourages consisting of hundreds of secret service men and additional hangers-on.
“Michelle says that it’s time Whitey’s wealth paid for 400 years of slavery, so she wants to milk the system as much as she can. Her husband is doing the same, they make a great team don’t they?” a White House aide told the ABC news network.
The First Lady usually travels with 70 friends as well as personal hairdressers, masseuse, fashion consultants, jeweller, teams of dieticians and a crew of personal trainers.
Use of Air Force Two, comes in at $600,000 for each trip. This does not include time on the ground.
Michelle likes to stay in $5,000 per night hotel rooms and only wears the most expensive designer clothes which are usually discarded in the bin after use.
“She bought some $7,500 sneakers for a tennis match at the Sebastian hotel but discarded them in the hotel bin after growing bored of them. I have often see her order a dish at a gourmet restaurant costing hundreds of dollars, only to yawn, and send it away after one bite. I know for sure, Barry and her made a pact to bankrupt America further. They figured, they were only going to be here once so they might as well clean the place out before the whole shithouse goes up in flames,” an ex-maid to Michelle Obama told the Washington Times.
Ordinary Americans seem oblivious to what Michelle Obama is doing to their money and she is still looked upon as an outstanding member of the White House, and when she makes her address to the country later on this week, she will surprise a lot of people.
“I always thought she was nice and was working for the American people. I don’t believe for one second that she would take advantage of her position, surely not,” Ed Masterson, a teacher from Alabama told Fox news.