17.7 C
London
Tuesday, March 17, 2026
secret satire society
HomeWorldOrdering Up a Can of Whoop Ass at McDonalds

Ordering Up a Can of Whoop Ass at McDonalds

LAS VEGAS - USA - There has been a staple item on the McDonalds menu for quite a while - a good solid beating.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

There’s something about McDonalds which brings forth the beast in the great unwashed masses.

Not only does the fast food restaurant feed the people with their daily mush, it is a conduit for extreme violence, most of the time highly entertaining gladiatorial combat that ends up  on YouTube.

Over the years the restaurant has tried to clean up its image, and has refurbished their restaurants to try to appeal to a better clientele, however this has mostly failed because the food they serve only applies itself to the lowest common denominator.

Processed shit for the Untermensch is a big money maker, and there will never be any escape for the company in this respect.

The only solution obviously is to put armed guards in every restaurant outlet. This way, when the ratchets start their screeching and hair pulling, and the gang boys start their fist fights, there could be a lot of tomato ketchup splattered all over the walls as the armed guards let loose. McDonalds employees beating customers with their fists, although entertaining, is less effective than guns.

Amongst the wreckage, the discarded hair weaves, the ripped thongs, the McDonalds sign shines down from above, an unholy reminder that in satan’s kitchen, money is made despite the brutal violence. Business carries on as they mop up the shit and the blood from the floor and walls. Cha ching!

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai
    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH