17.7 C
London
Thursday, July 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldOrdering Up a Can of Whoop Ass at McDonalds

Ordering Up a Can of Whoop Ass at McDonalds

LAS VEGAS - USA - There has been a staple item on the McDonalds menu for quite a while - a good solid beating.

There’s something about McDonalds which brings forth the beast in the great unwashed masses.

Not only does the fast food restaurant feed the people with their daily mush, it is a conduit for extreme violence, most of the time highly entertaining gladiatorial combat that ends up  on YouTube.

Over the years the restaurant has tried to clean up its image, and has refurbished their restaurants to try to appeal to a better clientele, however this has mostly failed because the food they serve only applies itself to the lowest common denominator.

Processed shit for the Untermensch is a big money maker, and there will never be any escape for the company in this respect.

The only solution obviously is to put armed guards in every restaurant outlet. This way, when the ratchets start their screeching and hair pulling, and the gang boys start their fist fights, there could be a lot of tomato ketchup splattered all over the walls as the armed guards let loose. McDonalds employees beating customers with their fists, although entertaining, is less effective than guns.

Amongst the wreckage, the discarded hair weaves, the ripped thongs, the McDonalds sign shines down from above, an unholy reminder that in satan’s kitchen, money is made despite the brutal violence. Business carries on as they mop up the shit and the blood from the floor and walls. Cha ching!

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!