17.7 C
London
Wednesday, October 9, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldWhen Jesus Comes Back He's Going to Look Up Sarah Palin First

When Jesus Comes Back He's Going to Look Up Sarah Palin First

JERUSALEM - Israel - Former American vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, expressed support for Jews and spoke openly about Jesus' return, officials who accompanied Palin on a tour of the old city disclosed.

“I didn’t know Jesus was Jewish until yesterday when one of my speechwriters said so. I always thought he was Amish or something,” Mrs Palin said as she was escorted to the Wailing Wall to offer some prayers.

The former vice president also added further words of wisdom to her hosts on this remarkable visit to Israel.

“Unlike the guy in the White House now, I’m pro Jewish so I’ll be expecting y’all to vote for me in 2012. That’s why I made this trip here to Israel. Look at this huge Star of David I’m wearing around my frickin’ neck. It don’t get more obvious than that. To tell y’all the truth, I don’t even know if Israel is next to France? Can we visit Paris next?”

Unfortunately for Palin, the two day visit did not include excursions to Nazareth, Bethlehem or Paris.

“I was told that’s where the animals are kept and we should stay away. No one told us that Bethlehem is where the Palestinians are imprisoned. When Jesus comes back, I’ll be president and he’ll want his birthplace cleaned out for good. Dang, I’ll make goddamn sure about that too, I might even lend him one of my rifles. Then I’ll visit when all the Muslims have been neutralized. You betcha!” Sarah Palin said before leaving for the next leg of her pre-election world tour.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

3 COMMENTS

  1. Re: "what is the measures in the West to bring to power people"

    — Jew Money

    — Jew Media

    Re: "I hope Andrew Sullivan picks up on this"

    — Why? He's just another Jews' Whore.

  2. > I don't think Jews will support a so appeared ignorant candidate such as this Palin.. what is the measures in the West to bring to power people? I ask .

  3. This is pretty funny. I hope Andrew Sullivan picks up on this. However, Palin DID try to visit Bethlehem but was apparently unaware that Bethlehem is in the West Bank, under Palistinian jurisdiction, and that a permit is required to enter. So much for doing her homework.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!