Gordon Brown will warn today that the world faces economic and social turmoil of “epidemic proportions”, as he urges joint action by the G20 group of developed and developing nations to tackle rising joblessness, economic turmoil and disaster caused by his policies when he was Labour leader and Chancellor.
“The Gordon Brown Disaster”
During a speech in London, the former prime minister will call for all current world leaders to take the lead in trying to fix the massive global and national social economic disaster created by his tenure in government that is currently plaguing the world.
“It was because of my boom and bust policies, total wastage of resources, ridiculous spending sprees on tin-pot ideas and utter disregard for the general population or future generations, that we are in this utter mess right now. This is why I urge all current leaders to try and fix the total destruction the Labour party under my direction has created worldwide and internally in Britain,” Brown will say in the Ted Kennedy/John Harvard memorial lecture.
With some market analysts predicting that there is no hope left in the UK and it will edge closer to the precipice of total destruction soon, the former prime minister will say: “You guys fix it. It was my mess, but I got out, now you fuckers can fix it.”
Brown will add: “I claimed to have fixed the world’s economy over four times already when I was in mid destruction mode. Of course that was a big lie. Everyone’s in the shit and we don’t have any money. That’s because I spent it all and now it’s all bloody gone.”
Brown will also say that the G20 will have to make action on getting him another job.
“No one in their right mind would want to employ me ever again. Not after what I’ve done, but I’m sure I’ll soon be on the money circuit like that other pariah, Tony,” he will add.
Mr Brown is set to receive about £120 for his two hour speech, which is a far cry from the £75,000 Tony Blair commands per 45 minute speaking session to rich American businessmen.