17.7 C
Thursday, May 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldWoman With Chastity Belt Refused Entry Into America

Woman With Chastity Belt Refused Entry Into America

DENVER - USA - A woman with a chastity belt has been refused entry into America after refusing to remove the protective device at the airport.

Denver airport TSA officials who tried to conduct an intimate pat-down on the woman when she refused a full-body x-ray scan, were baffled when they came across the vintage Victorian metal body hugging piece on the woman’s body.

Refused entry

“We were just about to get stuck into this woman when out of nowhere I found a big metal thing over her crotch area. I called over my supervisor, who asked the woman for the key so that we could find what she’s hiding away in there. Dang, it must be pretty precious for her to lock it away like that,” Arl Humperdinck, a TSA official told Fox News.

The woman who refused to unlock her chastity belt was later detained until further investigation and refused entry into the US.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. There are many more of these around than people realize, though few would attempt airline travel with a metallic one. Both sexes have them; not just women. It is virtually always consensual, though the wearer may not possess the key.

  2. It is quite surprising to me that such a step to protect virtue would block TSA, the Obamese security warning, from allowing her to pass. Now, I could understand if she were in full armour, but she wasn’t.

  3. Fantastic point Stephanie. How convenient that all simpletons have been sequestered in the US, while Europe remains a bastion of literary prowess. This is evidenced, of course, by the fine literature seen in many outstanding publications such as The Sun and The Daily Star. These are read exclusively by those educated individuals lucky enough to escape the hoi polloi in Europe and, of course, coffee shops. Despite the impending destruction of said coffee shops by a world which has apparently become violent in its superiority, it does seem necessary to eliminate people like Ellen. Especially since she most certainly is American, may have children who become American, or perhaps has heard of America.

  4. Sweet creamy jeebus! I am truly flummoxed that some poor souls still do not grasp satire. Ellen must be one of my fellow Americans, and for that, dear world, I am truly sorry. If at any point you find the need to annihilate my nation for the good of the race, so be it. Just remember the brave few of us, the Resistance, who secretly gathered in underground bookstores and coffee shops to practice the dying arts of critical thinking and reading comprehension, in hopes of one day overthrowing the reality show regime. We tried, dear planet.. we tried.

  5. I’d bet $100 this woman didn’t volunteer to wear this contraption. Sounds like something a husband or father from the Middle East would force a woman to wear.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »