Gordon Brown to be Prosecuted for High Treason

LONDON - England - An arrest warrant has been put out for ex-prime minister, Gordon Brown after the extent of his abuse of power was revealed following an independent investigation.

“Gordon Brown is to be arrested for high treason, corruption, war crimes, robbery, deception, counterfeiting money, fraud and treacherous sabotage. He has committed many horrid offences, some too awful and disgusting to reveal here. Under his regime of corruption and lies, Britain was taken to the brink of destruction and now the people will have to suffer for many generations because of his profligate ways. This guy recklessly spent every penny and more and what do we have to show for it? Nothing!” prosecuting attorney, Lord Reginald Tory said at the High Court.

Police forces across the UK were searching for Mr Brown yesterday after the warrant was announced. He was last seen in his Scottish constituency of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath and could have fled to the local forests in the region.

“We have mobilised hundreds of helicopters for an air search as well as thousands of officers and army personnel for the ground search. If any civilians come across this man, be warned, he is very dangerous and all it takes is for him to open his mouth to speak and you will fall into a permanent coma,” police chief for the Kirkcaldy constabulary told the BBC.

The Queen’s speech yesterday at the opening of parliament revealed the full extent of the damage committed by Gordon Brown and his evil cronies on Britain’s economy and people: “One has called for the immediate arrest of the traitor, Gordon Brown who has caused untold damage to one’s country. The one-eyed Scottish twat has caused even more damage than Diana or Fergie put together and that’s saying something. Because of that wasteful spendthrift useless shister, one now has to travel on the underground and on Ryanair to complete one’s public duties. Orf with his head I say, or how about a good slow hanging for him, then display his bloody head on a stick at the Tower.”