When he’s not frequenting the exclusive Amika club in Kensington or snorting vodka shots up his nose, the errant Prince Harry likes to wear a uniform and pretend to be in the army. He is a fine example of the modern royal family and its high standing stature.
The Prince’s girlfriend, moneyed chav Chelsy Davy, sneezes white crystalline dust into her Belvedere Vodka mixed with copious amounts of red bull and tonic. As the high octane booze enters her already sozzled system, she burps with an Afrikaans accent and her eyes roll back in the sockets.
Prince Harry’s entourage of 30 hangers on all cheer as Chelsy falls over backwards totally out of her head on drink and drugs. Another wild Amika night on the tiles and all paid for by the taxpayer.
The bill every night is approximately three to five thousand pounds which equates to about £1,825,000 per annum on alcohol alone for Prince Harry and his entourage. Everything is taken care of by the taxpayer, so there is no need to worry.
It is no news then that the British royal family has been rocked by allegations that one of their kind gave a royal servant oral relief.
Two conspirators, Ian Strachan and Sean McGuigan, are now in jail awaiting their fate for trying to blackmail the Royal house.
The only thing that surprises us is that a member of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha clan was not on the receiving end of the blow job, but the one who dealt the deed out. Which one of them could it be?
• Harry to go to War