US Finally Reveals Plan for Iraq as Allies Retreat

WASHINGTON DC - On the eve of British forces finally backing away from American military tactics, a top US General has finally revealed a plan for Iraq.

A U.S. general close to the White House says that he has finally come up with a plan for post-illegal-invasion Iraq.

“The US plan is to kill all the Arab Untermensch – so there will not be anymore resistance to our illegal occupation.”

Army Gen. Meat Johnsons, is the co-author of a paper that is credited with laying out the 2 page long architecture of the U.S. stormtrooper surge in Iraq, as well as the initial “Shock and Awe” annihilation campaign.

The plan is to bomb more areas from high altitude and kill more Iraqi civilians. Already, the American perpetual War has murdered over 600,000 Iraqi civilians and pumped the country full of depleted uranium, but the key ‘Surge’ report states that the target for civilian deaths has not even reached the 1.5 million mark which was the amount of deaths at the hands of the US Army in Vietnam.

“When there are no Iraqis and Arabs left, that’s when the US wins the war.”


The Surge



“We need to address this issue of not meeting our Surge targets yet. The killing must get up to speed to meet monthly death targets and we gotta beat that Nam score dammit. Besides, I gotta bet with Dubya for five bucks that I beat the score by Christmas.”

US troops were training all year round for The Surge and the gruelling regimen even involved wrestling to hone their skills in dealing with combat stress.



American Military tactics involve bombing from high altitude, then strafing areas where any movement is detected with massive firepower and if that does not work, bringing in the incendiary bombs.

These burn everything in the vicinity with white phosphorous and were used heavily in Fallujah to kill everything in the city.


The British


The abrasive General however has had ample time to have a pop at the British.

“If it wasn’t for the US those Limeys would be speaking German,” Johnsons told The Daily Squib, angry at British forces backing away from the illegal occupation and Uncle Sam sanctioned Iraqi genocide.

“We lost Vietnam, Cambodia and Korea because of the Limeys and now the War on Terrors is being threatened once again the Limeys is backing off!”

The Daily Squib asked the American General whether he knew anything of the concept of ‘winning hearts and minds’ and he replied quite adamantly that he did. “It’s callled a gun motherf*ckers! This is the American way and we’re gonna be here for the next thirty years or however it’s gonna take to complete the de-populationization operations dammit! We do not need the Limeys anyway, we got ammo and then some!”

The comments are the first public criticism of British policy by a U.S. military insider since Prime Minister Gordon Brown took office.

The British Ministry of Defense acknowledged today that despite the American plans to continue the illegal occupation and oil revenue acquisition program, British forces will leave Iraq before the Americans and will continue with the troop reduction.

The number of British troops in Iraq has decreased from 5,200 at the beginning of this year to 2,500, and is expected to drop to 500 by the beginning of next month.