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New Sun on Sunday Journalists Seen Arriving at Wapping

WAPPING - London - Rupert Murdoch has personally flown over to the UK to oversee his latest pet project, the new Sun on Sunday newspaper .

Murdoch: "I Have Permanent Amnesia"

WAPPING - England - The son of Rupert Murdoch has been diagnosed with a permanent form of amnesia, doctors working for the murdochs have revealed.

Kung Fu Fighting Deng Saves Murdoch

LONDON - England - Rupert Murdoch's Fox films has come up with a surprise summer hit that has hit the cinemas to the tune of £20 billion.

Police to be Armed With Brown Paper Bags

LONDON - England - The Metropolitan Police has got a new weapon in its fight against crime and disorder. The new weapon will be officially unveiled tomorrow by Met Police Commissioner Sir Paul Scribbers.

Rupert Murdoch and Son Taken to Guantanamo Bay

GUANTANAMO BAY - Cuba - The FBI arrested the two men yesterday in a dawn raid and were immediately shipped to the high security detention camp where Islamic terrorists and innocent Afghan goat herders are kept.

News International Staff to Get New Identities

LONDON - England - The Metropolitan Police said today it would offer new identities to the "vast majority" of staff who were employed by Rupert Murdoch at News International.

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Labour-ite Scorned

LONDON - England - Rupert Murdoch switched sides from Labour to Conservative after Blair was ousted by Brown and Balls. Things went downhill rapidly for the Labour government until they were finally ousted by the Con Dem partnership. Now it is revenge time.

Rupert Murdoch Cautioned For Reading Whilst Driving

LONDON - England - Media magnate, Rupert Murdoch, has been cautioned by police for driving whilst reading, the Sun newspaper has reported.

Campaign For Rebekah's Law Begins

LONDON - England - After the phone hacking crimes committed by News International were exposed to the world, a new law is going to come into effect by next year, Whitehall bureaucrats have announced.

The News is the News

LONDON - England - Rupert Murdoch was fielding calls from an increasingly embattled Rebekah Brooks this morning as she begged to be kept in the top spot of News International despite the many scandals she has been party to.

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