EDINBURGH - Scotland - Tennis ace Andy Murray has been promised the Scottish crown if he wins Wimbledon this year by legislators guarding the Scot royal lineage.
“That’s one hell of an incentive right there,” Andy Murray said from his SW19 hotel room this evening.
The Murray Clan would have their own coat of arms, restoring the Jacobite monarchy and live in Edinburgh castle where a tennis court would be built next to the great hall.
“I, King Murray, will rule over Scotland and I promise to bring peace, prosperity and deep fried mars bars for every Scot,” Murray added.
Good luck to Murray from the Squib team.
The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!
Copyright © Daily Squib 2024.
The Daily Squib is a curious satirical parody newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news.
