The deluge of hordes of illegal economic migrants seeking to enter the UK could be solved very easily by cryogenically freezing them in a form of frozen stasis, an independent think tank has revealed.
“It would solve the problem of housing and funding millions of burdensome illegal economic migrants who enter the UK every year. The migrants would be frozen half an hour after they come off the boats, and the frozen bodies would then be shipped to multiple underground facilities in secret locations.
“The cost of maintaining a single illegal migrant per annum would be very low because wind and electrical energy created from the bodies would power the cryogenic ports within each facility.
“The illegal economic migrants would be in a safe place and would benefit from a long life,” Ed Sporical, the think tank’s operations director, revealed.
The new technology developed by Silicon Tech Starr, a Texan company, is totally safe to use and could revolutionise the way governments deal with illegal migrants and even be used in prisons. The subject is simply put into an induced coma and their bodies frozen in specialised capsules. Throughout their lives they are fed essential minerals and vitamins through a tube and a mind inducer integrated neurally keeps them entertained with a live daytime TV feed from the BBC and Channel 5.