17.7 C
Thursday, April 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechRobotics: Musk Unveils Tesla Bot

Robotics: Musk Unveils Tesla Bot

SILICON VALLEY - USA - Futurist, and billionaire entrepreneur, Elon Musk has unveiled the Tesla Bot to the world.


Elon Musk is once again promising a fantastic glimpse into the future with his announcement of the Tesla Bot. According to the blurb, the Tesla Bot will be able to do menial boring functions around the house, but do not fear, it will not be able to run faster than 5 miles an hour so if you can run faster than that, you will not be hurt if for some reason it wants to exterminate your filthy human self. If you are old or in a wheelchair, you’re shit out of luck.

Along with the Musk brain implants, and Mars trips, we are not sure whether this is just a way for Musk to revel in some publicity with the Tesla Bot? Could this just be another one of Musk’s fantastical illusions, an announcement, but without much substance?

At one point in the video, Musk mentions ‘universal income’, and nearly gives the game away, mumbling incoherently. He very well knows that there cannot be such a thing at the current levels of population, even only in the West. The numbers only add up for such a scheme in the future with a vastly reduced population, but this of course is a very touchy subject, and billionaires rarely impart such plans to the plebs.

If you really want to look at robotics, Boston Dynamics is really the place to go. There is no conceptual dream there, the Atlas robot really is the leader in all global robots.

As of yet, there is no demonstration of the Musk Tesla Bot, just a short video with a human dancing around in a robot costume. When we actually see the Tesla Bot cooking dinner, putting up shelves, cleaning the toilet, taking out the bins, then we will see something. If the Tesla Bot can pop off to the shops to get some beer, or mow the lawn, maybe construct a flat pack Ikea wardrobe, feed the dog, take it for a walk, the shit will be happening then.

Musk should also consider changing the asexual nature of the Tesla Bot. Imagine the increase in customers for the product if the bot is engineered to the sexual preferences and desired looks of the customer? This thing could deliver your beer from the fridge, then perform some magic on your nether regions before resuming household duties. No one would ever want to leave home again.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
Translate »