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Juncker: “Brexit Will Not Protect Britain From EU Army Invasion”

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“We will take Britain one way or another. You can Brexit all you want, but can you hold out against an EU Army so large that we could take the UK in two days? Britain will be our first port of call, then finish Russia once and for all, then anyone else who disagrees with our Imperialistic expansion policies,” the EU president told an open session for the EU Commission on Friday.

The threat of a conscripted army made up of 27 nations converging on Britain is certainly something to think about.

Could our currently depleted underfunded armed forces cope with such an invasion from the EU?

Probably not is the answer from Major General Giles Viceroy.

“Unfortunately, the MoD has been largely depleted under the tenure of Cameron. The Navy has been practically dismantled, and the Air Force is in dire straits. Budget cuts and mass redundancies has seen the British armed forces at their lowest ebb, all thanks to David Cameron.”

Thankfully, there is still some time to prepare for such an eventuality as an EU army invasion on these shores. The current PM has to increase MoD funding by 190% and this way we’d have a fighting chance.

“The British spirit is one that never gives up. We saw off that Hitler chap, Napoleon and the Romans, so we can certainly see off the EU army. Sinking the Eurotunnel would be the first order of the day, but that’s about as much as I’m prepared to give away,” the Major General added.

Once again, Britain has a menacing threat lurking across the Channel waiting for the day to attack us.

We will never surrender Juncker, Never, Never, Never Surrender.

Sarkozy: “We Let the Migrants into France So We Are Liable For Calais Jungle”

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“Due to free movement policies of the EU within the Schengen zone, of which France is a member, migrants can simply walk across any border into Europe from anywhere in the world. Britain is not a member of the Schengen zone so it is not their problem. I would like to apologise profoundly to the British people and government for French stupidity and arrogance. It is our fault, and our mess. We are really sorry and beg for forgiveness for our folly.”

Speaking on the live broadcast on France 2 television he also denied that he is accusing the migrant population of “all evils” insisting there are issues that have to be addressed.

Mr Sarkozy was reacting to questions from members of the public and specifically discussed the issue of the migrant crisis focusing directly on Africa.

And he said migrants should be transported back to Africa so they can be processed to prevent the clog up and further issues caused by the problems at Calais, but EU regulations prevented such actions.

“Once anyone crosses into the EU border they have the right to stay. This is why millions of people from Africa and the Middle East, South East Asia are coming over. The Schengen zone is also a great place for terrorism to flourish, as well as human trafficking and drug running. Welcome to Europe, please all come to France, you are all welcome mes amis,” Sarkozy added.

EU: “Jump!” Theresa May: “How High?”

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What more reason does Theresa May have to implement Article 50 to complete the mandate of the people of the United Kingdom?

Let us not forget that the majority of people in Britain voted to leave the EU in the EU referendum conducted on June 23 2016.

Since that wonderful day there has only been delaying tactics, and the instatement of Theresa May, a Remain campaigner into office has seen even more delaying tactics.

It’s That Article 50 Time

Article 50 must be triggered now. We must trigger Article 50 immediately and there must be no traitorous treachery from the infiltrated crony warehouse: the House of Lords, or from the remaining Remoaners who are predominantly stalwart Marxists.

Trade negotiations will fall into place as they are already doing. As for the Single Market, or what used to be called the Common Market, Britain must reject it because the four tenets required include free movement of people which is unusable with an EU that has porous Schengen zone borders, and this is why many people voted to get out of the EU on June 23.

We Must Invoke Article 50 Now

Free movement of people in the EU is a blight on Britain and has filled our streets with beggars, Romanian gypsies and whoever else simply walked into Europe. It has increased the government’s welfare bill hundredfold, furthermore, the NHS is on its last legs and will have to start charging people soon for medical aid.

Britain is full to the brim, and its roads, designed for the horse and cart, are stuck in permanent traffic.

The overcrowded schools where some children have to sit in a class of fifty, and our hospital beds where to get one if you are dying is a luxury, is a disgrace to the tenets of decency.

Article 50

Public transport is a mess especially in London, where people are crammed into carriages coughing and spluttering, the smell of death hangs over the whole transport system.

Overcrowded jobs market, and the jobs, underpriced by migrants and EU grafters who come here, get paid a pittance and send the money home. EU migrants do not benefit Britain as much of their pay is sent immediately to their homelands, as well as their child benefits to their children abroad.

Invoke Article 50 Now

Romanian kingpins and their grotesque mansions are popping up all over the place, all paid for by tax credits and imaginary children. Forged documents are too easy to come by, and these criminals are receiving £5,000 per month from UK benefits.

Did We Mention Article 50?

We must invoke article 50 right now if Britain is to be saved from this dire mess. Do it! Do it now! This is a matter of grave urgency.

Theresa May has to stand by her word to invoke article 50, to get us out of the EU once and for all.

Do it now press the button.

NOW

EU Army: Daily Squib Accurately Predicted Today’s News in 2012

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Sure, people laugh at our stories sometimes, or maybe cry more likely, or just skip to some banal website where one does not have to think, but it is true to say that we predict the future in more ways than one.

Our motto here at the Squib is ‘Fuck it’ if it comes into our brains from some heavenly muse it must be okay.

And so when no one was talking about the EU army in 2012, we were, and no one even considered such a thing to be possible, all the poo pooing is finally coming around. Today’s news that the EU army is being finalised and will be an agitant to Russia, is vindicating but leaves a slight sour taste in one’s palate.

The Squib may be ignored by all media entities and corporate organisations peddling their shallow lies daily but even though we’re predominantly satirical we hit the bulls eye more than they do. We like meat and potatoes, and we also like to dig right through to the bone.

If one wishes for a glimpse into the future, satire can be a prophetic tool – purely because however outlandish some of our stories are, we are living in times where the crazy can indeed come true.

Satire is also a vehicle to convey truth more deeply than any media broadcasting company around today, what they state as fact is usually not the case but some statistic fed to them from a governmental office somewhere with usually skewed results.

There are no algorithms for our brand of satire, and that’s why we fall foul of the Americanised politically correct companies who have taken over the internet and its operation, naming no names.

As for the Remoaners, it is sort of a shame that we may one day Brexit, because it would have been so nice to see you lot conscripted into Juncker’s EU army and have your legs blown off at the knee. How much would you like the EU then?

So, we predicted the EU army in 2012. Where’s our fucking medal? You say there’s no medal for predictions? Aww..shucks..

Angela Merkel Calls For Creation Of A ‘True European Army’ Nov 13, 2018

The Right Candidate: Hardcore Hillary Even Campaigned With Pneumonia

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You want the stats, the evidence, the real deal, here is a woman who had severe pneumonia which frickin’ kills people campaigning, doing tours, doing speeches.

If that ain’t a show of strength what the hell is there? Hillary Clinton kept on going even though she was severely sick, and this is the test of true presidential grit and determination.

If Trump stubs his toe, or even catches a cold he’s out for the count. Hillary is the real mettle, the real deal and she needs to be applauded for her dedication to office and the United States of America.

America needs strength right now, and it needs strength done in the right way, not wrong way. Hillary is the right person because she has a calculated strength as well as experience in dealing with people in office and on the world stage. Trump knows shit. He is a loudmouth, uncouth jibber jabberer who is all talk and no action, his obese fat body blubbering away while his fat mouth spouts nonsense and truly dumb rhetoric.

You want an adult or a kid as president? Because voting for Trump will get you an irrational psychotic 11-year-old girl as president, but voting for Hillary will get you an adult, who knows how things work, and knows what needs to be done in a cool calculated manner without creating mayhem and total chaos.

You want to live vote Hillary. You want to die vote Trump. He’ll send your kids over to the Middle East to get their legs blown off. That’s guaranteed.

Remembering 911 Again

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The fact that a bunch of Saudi guys who could barely land a Piper training plane controlled extremely complex 767 commercial jets conducting extreme manoeuvres at high speeds that would challenge the most experienced pilots in the world is neither here nor there.

We must also ignore the anomalies present when examining the underside of the grey plane that hit WTC2, those big bulges are certainly not features of any commercial 767 jet.

Why stop there, a 767 jet fit into a tiny hole in the Pentagon and punched through four or five layers of concrete and reinforced steel leaving no trace of the wings? There is of course no footage of this event or evidence of a plane.

Don’t forget the obvious demolition of WTC7, which did not have a scratch on it, or the complete lack of scrambling jet fighters giving a clear run for three ‘hijacked’ planes.

The most fantastic part of this escapade a la Northwoods, was the president sitting around reading My Pet Goat. Here was a man notified that America was under attack, but chose to sit in a class and do nothing, except for smirk.

We will sadly never know what happened to the passengers who were supposedly ‘hijacked’.

Thankfully, the operation played out just like the Pearl Harbour event that was needed in the PNAC.

We were soon at war with Iraq and the wonderful War on Terror had begun, or shall we call it the War of Perpetual Terror where our already limited rights were stomped on and erased.

Ah, it’s September 11 again, a great day to remember, when the beginnings of World War III began, and are continuing to this day, until we get to the real meat and potatoes.

Brexit Delay: Theresa May Being Consulted by Peter Mandelson, David Cameron and Tony Blair

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With all her wishy washy claims, Theresa May is a duplicitous grey witch in kitten heels stirring an unholy cauldron of lies, false promises and downright bollocks.

Westminster insiders only know too well what the plan is: “They had the people’s vote but the people do not count. Why do you think they brought in Theresa May and that shister Philip Hammond? There will not be a Brexit while they’re in charge because their governmental power supercedes any Brexiteer in the government. We all know the hand of Peter Mandelson is behind all this. Yes, the Dark Lord himself. He is the one at the helm of the table whispering in May’s ear. They will delay and delay..”

The fight is not over. The Remainers are staunch communists who do not take votes as done deals. The EU is a Marxist entity and so are the supporters of the EU. They do not believe in freedom from totalitarian rule, and this is why they have taken over the government and hijacked the Brexit vote.

We must do something fast, we must take back the reins from these liars, these vagabonds and traitorous deceivers; these turncoats who have no bond of honour or honesty between them. They are the ultimate enemy, because they are the enemy within, a far more dangerous adversary than the politburo and apparatchiks of the EU itself.

Whatever Happened to EgyptAir MS804?

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Lifting off from Charles De Gaulle airport on 19 May 2016,  EgyptAir MS804 disappeared off the radar when it suddenly dropped from 37,000 feet cruise altitude.

Shrouded in mystery

No one knows what happened, and the French seem to be keeping the details of any searches or black box results  very quiet. The Egyptians on the other hand point towards a terrorist attack, which is the natural logical hypothesis considering the planes altitude when it exploded.

This begs the question, is it safe to fly from Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris, or any French airport for that matter?

There is a definite reason why the French government is keeping this midair incident very hush hush, because if it comes to light that there is lax security at French Schengen zone airports, it will damage the already fragile tourist trade in France which is crucial to its ailing economy.

No one seems to care really and it’s all very quiet..ho hum. Maybe they’re hoping it’s all forgotten.

Revealed What Hillary Clinton Coughed Into Her Drink

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We gave the tape to an expert visual analyst who worked for the CIA for many years, now retired, to try and explain the green deposit Clinton spewed from her mouth into a glass of water, then drank from.

James Albright, a former CIA analyst gave us his take on the green gunk episode.

“What we have here are two heavy objects that Mrs Clinton deposits into the tall glass of water. She has her lips close together when she releases these objects which I assume are quite heavy as they immediately go to the bottom of the glass.

“The reason for Clinton having her lips partially closed is because she wants to disguise her efforts whilst ejecting the two objects from the audience.

“After analysing the footage utilising specialist techniques, I have come to the conclusion that the two objects are human testicles, possibly from her husband, Bill.

“Shape analysis and the weight of the objects, as well as the colouring. Hillary Clinton may have been chewing on them for awhile, and gangrene could have set in.”

 

The Almighty Zuckerberg Beaten by Iconic Historic Photo

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News coming in that Facebook has restored the previously banned photograph illustrating the horrors of the Vietnam War comes as a warning to politically correct anti-freedom and anti-free speech denizens of the Marxist left who seem to dictate to others what they can and cannot see or say.

It is an increasingly scary thought that much of the internet today is ruled by these anti-freedom technology freaks who are scared of anything that is in any way real, creative or horrifically thought-provoking. Technology is meant to free us and humanity more, yet they seek to shut us off from freedom of speech. The Daily Squib itself has seen the wrath of these freedom hating people who do not understand expression, art or satire. There is no algorithm for satire, and this confuses them, it does not compute in their cold sexless digital world of conformity, banality and boring morose technical speech.

Mark Zuckerberg is a pox upon the internet, a vile humanoid creature with parasitic characteristics resembling a putrid bleeding pustule seeping across the World Wide Web.

Facebook, where whatever you upload is now under the ownership of Zuckerturd and his brainwashed minions is a plague on humanity. It is the earth’s lowest form of achievement, it is an octopus that encircles every part of the internet with its giant suckers never letting go for one second.

Anyone who has a private page on Facebook should be profoundly ashamed of themselves. Are you masochists? Do you like your information being peddled to marketing agencies, intelligence agencies and anyone else who cares to delve into your banal useless every day habits? Are you that fucking dumb that you will reveal everything about yourself even after reading the terms and conditions of that site?

The uselessness of Facebook must be addressed. It serves no purpose to anyone, even the data gatherers, and the inane conversations from within its software prison walls are digital versions of sand blowing in the wind. Each word uttered is a grain of sand, lost amongst the billions of other grains of sand. You are nothing if you have two million friends on Facebook, you may slit your wrists on live-streaming video and not one of these people will care, in fact in most cases of this nature, people egg on the soon-to-be deceased social media idiot to do the job quickly before they all move on to someone else to friend.

To delete one’s profile now is probably too late, if you’ve been blabbing on Facebook for a while, it does not matter if you delete, because all your information is on a server until the end of time. Not only that, if you visit any website on the internet that has a Facebook sharing link, you will be tracked and information relayed straight back to Facebook’s HQ for processing whether you have a page there or not.

Is there a cure for Facebook? Well, as long as the NSA and CIA have their way, it is not going anywhere any time soon.

The only way to kill Facebook is for the millions to leave it, but that will never happen because there are millions of brainwashed people living in their little sandbox, showing off their fake lifestyles and pictures of little Johnny at his birthday party. Facebook nurtured the narcissism of the people and marketed it. Facebook took friendship and made it into a commodity, of which you are the part, knowing or unknowingly.

The only way to kill Facebook is to leave it. We cannot let something as invasive, as dictatorial and anti-freedom survive. Zuckerberg is even trying to erase history by banning historical photographs. This cannot be allowed in the West, whose tenets are ones of freedom of expression. Facebook is anti humanity, anti truth and anti free speech.

Delete your page, you will feel much better for it. Interact with someone in the real world for one second. That’s all it takes.

Delete.

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