Michelle Obama Says America’s Insects Need to Diet Immediately

WASHINGTON DC - USA - During her official address to the nation today, First Lady Michelle Obama reminded the audience that insects need a proper diet and exercise, just like humans do.

The First Lady admitted that President Obama liked to tease their own pet cockroach, “Eric” for being lazy, but that they encouraged him to get out of the White House kitchen sometimes and at least walk in the hall a bit.

“Insects are no different,” Michelle Obama explained to the nation during her speech. “You want to make sure they are eating a balanced diet, and if they are not an active insect, make sure that their food is reflective of an inactive insect and then get them out there and running all over your food or whatever you have lying around.”

The First Lady added that it was important to “worry about every member of our family.”