The Ice Bucket Challenge has had serious coverage but now there’s a new challenge for true celebrities.
“Sometimes I don’t get enough coverage, I call in the paps when I go shopping at Whole Foods or to grab a coffee. It’s all part of the game of me, me, me. This ice bucket challenge was great though, I don’t even know why celebs were doing it but I got the call Monday to do it and called in my personal photographer, Larry,” some celebrity said on another celebrity news site.
But hold on for one second, here’s a new challenge for the real die hard celebrities. You want to go that extra mile for more attention this challenge will really separate the wheat from the chaff, or should we say chunks from the diarrhoea.
The Excrement Challenge is being rolled out all over the internet with celebs queuing to be nominated.
“I heard it’s for the Daily Squib newspaper, the Excrement Challenge is no pansy ice bucket challenge for wimps, this challenge is the real deal that will confirm my celebrity status forever and it’s for the Daily Squib charity, they need to be able to buy tea and biscuits in their office once in awhile,” a celebrity model who once appeared on Big Brother 23 told celebrity site Z17.
Nominations are cancelled for this challenge, all wonderfully useful celebrities are welcome, the more obscure you are the better because you will get more exposure. If you are top of the tabloid newsworthy table at the moment, you can increase your exposure even further and get more adulation that you crave so much. If you have the desire to be photographed every five minutes of your life, this will give you six minutes of total exposure on a constant cyclical basis.
1) Get as many people that you know to crap in a bucket. Tramps, gardeners, PR people, agents, anyone
2) Top up with water or urine, add a little ice if you wish to make an extra statement
3) Make sure you contact all the photographers and paparazzi beforehand to announce the challenge
4) Pour that shit over your head and smile
5) Enjoy the extra attention you get, congratulate yourself, you deserve to be above the rest
6) Read the papers, watch the news, it’s all about you, you, you. Remember contributing to charity anonymously is for losers