You Didn’t Just Take a ‘Hatie’ Did You?

LOS ANGELES - USA - Forget the narcissistic 'selfie' craze, the latest fad is the 'hatie'.

What happens when millions of people around the world are all pushed to revel in a narcissistic craze called ‘selfies’ through a collective social networking thought control mechanism? Well, we get the antithesis of the selfie and that’s the hatie.

“The hatie is a new phenomenon sweeping the world, wherein the user does not constantly take selfies and share them around through social networks. It is quite the opposite. The hatie is when you go to Facebook, Instagram and all other thought control programming surveillance booths and delete your account. You then have to put your smartphone down, ideally crushing it with a sledgehammer,” Fred Lombard, one of the creators of the hatie told Tech Moon magazine.

As opposed to the shallow narcissism of the selfie, the hatie is in fact an expression of dignity, intelligence and control from mass brainwashing. The hatie is a very positive reaction to the negative nature of the selfie.

There are withdrawal symptoms to denying yourself of selfie photos every five minutes. Please be prepared, for uncontrollable shaking, which will last throughout a post-selfie abstinence period, drooling at the mouth and the eyes rolling back in the sockets whilst your arms are outstretched gasping for the iphone.

If withdrawal symptoms worsen, please consult your physician who will probably give you a smartphone for a few controlled minutes.

People can be cured of the ‘selfie’ but it takes a lot of hard work over a prolonged period of months if you are one of those who are totally brainwashed.