17.7 C
London
Saturday, October 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentLabour Equalities Minister Harriet Harperson Shown Parallel Parking Her Car

Labour Equalities Minister Harriet Harperson Shown Parallel Parking Her Car

BELFAST - Northern Ireland - On a recent visit to the city, Labour Equalities minister, Harriet Harperson showed off her parallel parking and spatial awareness skills to a group of jeering male students.

“Not all women are bad at parking, and I think I actually did a really good job considering those vile male good for nothing students were jeering at me throughout my half hour session,” Harperson said from her car afterwards.

Local taxi driver Seamus O’Riordan was at the scene and commented on the Equalities Minister’s parking skills: “There is a tendency to suggest that women are not very good at parking because it has been proven scientifically that their spatial awareness is less effective than men, but after seeing Harriet Harperson, I have to agree fully with that theory. You could have got a bloody bus into that space. Is it no wonder that there are no female Grand Prix drivers out there? She’s a danger to other car users on the road.”

Staunch feminist, Harriet Harperson has now called for all men to be stripped of their vehicles as a form of emasculation so that the roads can only be populated by female drivers.

“A man’s car is just an extension of their penis. If the government takes away their boy racer cars, then we women would have more room to park our cars and I wouldn’t need a shameful half an hour to park the damn thing. Come on sisters, let us come together to free the roads up from these chauvinist pigs so we can park in peace,” Harriet Harperson said angrily.

The Shadow Equalities minister will return immediately to mainland Britain tomorrow and and has vowed to petition parliament to ban all males from owning or driving a car.


  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. Women are better drivers all round than men. You men need to just deal with it . Look at our insurance premiums? Much lower because we are safer and do not take crazy risks like all you men.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!