No The Daily Squib Will Not Open an Office in North Korea

PYONGYANG - North Korea - There were scenes of mass hysteria and lamentation on Monday as millions of North Koreans openly wept in public at the terrible news that there will not be any Daily Squib offices or publications in their country in the foreseeable future.

As the thousands of grieving crowds wept in the streets in the main square where communist shows of military strength are held every year, there were reports of North Koreans even jumping off high rise buildings.

Not since British former Prime Minister, Gordon Brown’s resignation have there been such scenes of utter despair amongst a population.

The much anticipated publication of the North Korean edition of the Daily Squib had unfortunately been thwarted by a communist party censor deeming the whole newspaper a danger to the state.


“I was waiting to read the first edition. We were waiting for ten years. Every day, they say you can read the Daily Squib, then the next day they say it come tomorrow, then the next day they say we have to wait one more week. How much longer do we have to wait so we can read the Daily Squib? I can’t take it anymore, I’m going to commit hara kiri. Oh, that’s Japanese, never mind,” a very upset North Korean Daily Squib fan told state news before being taken away to a re-education camp.