17.7 C
Friday, April 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentSocialite Tara Palmer Tomkinson Finally Gets the Nose She Always Wanted

Socialite Tara Palmer Tomkinson Finally Gets the Nose She Always Wanted

LONDON - England - After snorting £400 of cocaine up her nose everyday, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson has finally got the nose she was working so hard to get.

“I worked hard for this look. Daddy’s money paid for me to have this squashed monstrosity on my face. Forget about years of plastic surgery – just snort loads of coke, and you too could have a honker like mine,” Ms Tomkinson said from her luxury apartment on London’s, King’s Road.

The 39-year-old socialite is so proud of her nose that she is going to travel to Peru next month to be honoured by the Peruvian Minister of Cocaine, for her services to Peru’s economy.

Speaking from the Capital city of Lima, Roberto Pizarro, the Minister of Cocaine, said: “Miss Tara has an exquisite nose and it is a testament to our primary national product. She has been invited to our grateful country as an honourary guest.”

Hollywood actor, Mickey Rourke, has also praised the socialite on her cultivated look: “She looks even more fucked up than me, and that’s saying something.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »