Hollywood Actress Dies of Natural Causes After Taking Loads of Drugs

LOS ANGELES - USA - Another Hollywood actress died of natural causes, as cited by the local medical authorities in Beverly Hills yesterday.

“Chalk it up with the rest. It’s another natural death Hollywood style. She took tonnes of prescription pills and her heart gave away. You can’t get more natural than that. The fact that we found huge amounts of drugs in her room and bloodstream is neither here nor there. This is Hollywood and it’s accepted as a natural occurrence,” Dr. David Johnsons, a senior consultant at Cedar’s Sinai hospital told Hollywood Weekly magazine.

The actress’ natural death is the third one this month, and is such a familiar scene to the Hollywood acting crowd that it has barely got any press coverage.

“We get one that goes, ten come in her place. We get fresh loads every day from boonville into Hollywood land all the time. It’s only a matter of time before they get used up by the machine, and spat out, then we get the next batch in. The acting biz is like that. It’s pretty natural stuff. What’s the problem huh?” Moshe Silverstein III, a studio executive for one of the premier film companies, said.