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Sunday, February 25, 2024
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Keep Buying Stocks It’s Going Up and Up

NEW YORK - USA - Archibald Fenster, an analyst at Crook and Crook Finance is advising clients to keep buying stocks.

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“Stock is real cheap at the moment at shy on 17,000. Keep buying, that’s all you need to do. It’s all pension fund debt anyway, as worthless as a pork sandwich in a synagogue, but of course the Fed don’t want you to know that, shh.”

The analyst then went on to cite the $60 trillion debt America owes, and how that’s good for the stock market.

“Ah, $60 trillion dollars is not that much really, consider the fact that in Zimbabwe you can just about buy a loaf of bread with sixty trillion of whatever their stupid currency is.”

But what about that Quantitative Easing stuff?

“They’re stopping that soon. Why you think the DHS is stocking up on ammo? Anyway, keep buying stocks, no, I am not about to short the market, keep buying those goddamn stocks.”

Is the loss of Iraq anything to do with anything?

“Just take a look at this fear index and I must say, haven’t seen it so high in a long time, but that’s no excuse to not keep buying stocks because when the oil price reaches $800 you’ll all be walking. As for Russia, just check out gas prices in Europe this chilly winter and see who’s got who by the balls.”

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  1. Once this thing goes down it ain’t coming back up for a long time. It’s all part the plan. Pension plans whacked college funds trashed obviously you guys are saying sell right? Well hell I don’t wanna be there when everyone dumps I wanna dump before that you won’t even be able to get thru to your broker.

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