17.7 C
London
Tuesday, May 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusinessTwitter IPO Billionaire Just Wants to Buy Bird Feed

Twitter IPO Billionaire Just Wants to Buy Bird Feed

SAN FRANCISCO - USA - Twitter co-founder Evan Williams, who is now worth $2.6 billion after the Twitter IPO has revealed that he wants to spend the majority of his money on bird feed.

Speaking from a park in down town San Francisco the new Twitter IPO  billionaire was anxious to buy as much bird seed as he could.

“Can you imagine the amount of bird feed I could get? We can get bucket loads of it and feed all the birds in the world. No bird will ever go hungry again. I want to give something back to the birds, hell if it wasn’t for a little tweety bird, I would never have made all this money.”

There is only one minor drawback to overfeeding all those birds, and that’s the corrosive white stuff ejaculated out of their bird bottoms all over the place.

City officials are weary about the billion dollar bird feeding scheme proposed by the Twitter billionaire.

“We have enough crap over the streets anyway, we certainly don’t want any more in the way of bird poop. That many birds would make our cities into a white bird poop soup,” Dana Claritas, a city street maintenance official told the Frisky Echo newspaper.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »