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Today’s NSA Stock Picks

LONDON - England - Our resident stock picker, Alan Sharpish has compiled a list of five great stocks that will be an amazing addition to your portfolio.

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5 Amazing NSA Stock Picks

 

1) X-TECH (X-TC) This Chinese tech company’s penny stock is set to rise by 3000% in the next few weeks. I read the details from a recent NSA report stating the company has secretly come out with some really cool tech stuff that no one has yet. The NSA report shows every email that the company directors have been writing to each other. A surefire winner in my book.

2) HALSBRO (HSBO) Reading the NSA report on this Italian widget company, it looks like they’re going to announce they are bankrupt in 5 days. You will surely make a mint by getting in a short position now before the massively overbought share price drops like a rock. Cha ching!

3) CORLINSON OIL (CNSN) A British owned oil company that operates in Nigeria. They’ve just found a gusher but are keeping it secret. The NSA emails reveal they will announce the find in late August. Start filling your boots now.

4) GUSLING PLC (GSLG) You ever seen a rocket shoot up into space? This stock is going vertical on July 27th when the company will announce bumper profits. I’ve seen the NSA report and have already bought as many shares as I possibly can.

5) JIMBOB INC. (JMB) When I read the NSA report for this company I immediately took all my wife’s jewels and her fur coats and sold the lot. The entire board of directors are getting fired on Friday. Get in there quick for the easiest money you will ever make.

This concludes our NSA stock picks for today. Be sure to check here regularly for any more NSA updates on what to buy and what to sell with the exact dates.

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  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
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The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

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