Psychologist Ariel Tabule, reveals his analysis: “Black Friday is a mass ritual of consumerist brainwashing wherein the controlled masses are triggered to spend as much money as they possibly can on useless junk. Naturally those who control the masses have certain techniques which I shall not divulge here, although you may have a slight understanding of the triggers they utilise to get idiots and fucking morons to part with their cash in the least dignified manner.
“This is when the idiots are at home and have had a good night’s rest. Their hypnotic state may have worn off slightly. They have by now unwrapped their purchases, and realise they have been conned. The funny thing is, it works every year, and they fall for the same tricks over and over again. Brown Saturday, look at your credit card bills, let out a large groan. Rinse and repeat next year.”