Those Sarah Palin Emails Again

Sarah Palin

WASILLA – USA – The Daily Squib reveals some of the best lines from the release of 24,000 pages of Sarah Palin's private emails.

Mrs Palin has plans to win the 2012 presidential elections.

Alaska has released 24,199 printed pages of e-mails covering Mrs Palin’s first 21 months as governor – from 2006 until she accepted the vice-presidential nomination.

The release of the emails give an insight into the hard-working intelligent woman who is set to be the first ever female U.S. president.

Email excerpts

– From Palin to CERN scientist, Edward Monk on Aug 2, 2008.

“Monky, after our lengthy telephone conversation on Tuesday, I have to disagree with your initial theorem. Contrary to the initial findings, the volumes make a displacement of spacetime that exerts pressure on their surface. A “mass effect” appears, i.e. an effect having all characteristics of mass. The mass component [M] can be extracted from the spacetime pressure on the surface of the particle [M/LT²] by simple mathematical operations that I am sure even Bristol could do. Only closed volumes deform spacetime, and since “spacetime curvature ≡ mass” (*), only closed volumes get mass, are subject to a pressure that produces a “mass effect.”

– From Palin to press aide on Sep 15, 2008 on being told reporters were asking about her views on evolution.

“Arghhhh! Those Bible nuts who think the earth is 6,000 years old are onto me again. Speaking about evolution, we all know that an individual organism’s phenotype results from both its genotype and the influence from the environment it has lived in. A substantial part of the variation in phenotypes in a population is caused by the differences between their genotypes. The modern evolutionary synthesis defines evolution as the change over time in this genetic variation. The frequency of one particular allele will become more or less prevalent relative to other forms of that gene. Variation disappears when a new allele reaches the point of fixation — when it either disappears from the population or replaces the ancestral allele entirely. I hope all these idiot bible bashers realise that evolution is purely biological and that the bible was written by men on pieces of f*cking paper and not God.”

– From Geographical Society professor, Julian Mannion to Palin, Sep 11, 2008.

“Thank you ever so much for your new discovery yesterday. We have indeed found new settlement sites in Tchibanga, Gabon. We will integrate your tireless geographical work into our current research papers.”

– From Palin to aide Jimmy McManamon, Sept 15, 2008, about a super computer she had installed in her residence.

“The old one was only running at 30 teraflops, after much work on the cluster, we have successfully increased it to 75 teraflops. Yes, we paid for it ourselves…”