Flying to America? Get Ready for Full-Body Scanners and Internal Body Searches

"Come to daddy.."

LONDON – England – The Daily Squib’s travel adviser gives some useful tips to travellers making journeys to American airports.

Americans sure don’t do thing in halves, do they? If you’re travelling to America any time soon, be sure to give your internal cavities a good wash because you don’t want to be embarrassed in front of everyone when they search you. Unpleasant smells from your crotch area can be offensive to the brute TSA official seaching your rectum or vagina, therefore hygiene is an essential must-do.

Be prepared for intrusive pat-downs, especially for women being searched by some 6-foot thug armed with a big smile and wandering hands. Unless you enjoy having your breasts rubbed hard by a man you’ve never met in your life before, maybe travel elsewhere this year.

If that’s not bad enough, don’t forget that you will also be required to go through an American x-ray machine called a body scanner. This will ensure that you will have every minute part of your anatomy displayed to the authorities, and also get a nice dose of radiation for your troubles as well.

“I am required to
travel to America at least ten times a year. I am only 24 years old,
therefore I calculate, I should get full-blown lymphatic cancer by the
age of 30,” a recent business traveller from Italy told the Rai Uno

A man is told to leave the airport after refusing to be genitally groped

What of the flight crews and pilots who have to endure the horror of travelling to America on a regular basis? Well, according to many airlines, the crews just have to grin and bear it.

“It’s all part of the job. We’re abused by the passengers in the air, and the TSA authorities on the ground. We’re all going to get some cancer related illness sooner or later from the x-ray machines and the groping is all part of the job now. There are even training days on how to take the news that you have cancer, and how to deal with TSA officials sticking their arms half way up your rectum,” Janine Fulworth, a flight attendant for British Airways told the BBC.

Bon Voyage..

  • Emmanuell Goldstein

    Watching the clip to completion, the effect of the Terrahertz band Radiation waves has a visible signature effect on the cell phone video, if every TSA screener had any idea of how enormous the amount of radiation exposure they are being subjected to during an average day’s shift, they would revolt upon discovery they are receiving what will amount to lethal does of Radiation during a single year period, my god what madness has descended upon this earth, we have an insane government sponsored attack on the human population, the truth is out there, and it will be eventually revealed to all.

  • Gregarious but, not that gregarious.

    Safe from the crazies. I did not see any terrorist captured while we were in line. When my 9 year old daughter had her cavity search, her virginity was taken. I was concerned about what to do until my Imam said the proper thing would be to honor kill her now that she is not a virgin for the man that she was promised to at 5.

  • richard

    is there a waterboarding option in addition ?

  • AnonymouzCoward

    Greetings from America. I wanted to chime in here, we are discovering that members of Congress, etc, are EXEMPT from this, amazing, isn’t it? An airline pilot who was subjected to this, is now sueing TSA (good for him). If everyone just did a protest by not flying for a few days or a week, perhaps they would change their policies. Hopefully people will get a backbone and do this.

  • Geoff Dodd

    That man in the video is absolutely RIGHT to stand up for his perceived ‘rights’ against the American federal government. That regime is way out of line in my honest opinion, doing genital area pat downs and dangerous cancer-causing X rays – on some!

  • AC Kieble

    Travelling to the USA is a harrowing experience that I would not wish upon my worst enemy. It really is THAT bad. Been there done it and never again thankfully.

  • Not going there ever again

    Welcome to the Land of the Free…….lol

  • James Peterson

    My family were going to Disneyland in Florida. I have 2 daughters and a son, I don’t want them to be subjected to this torture at US airports so we’ve cancelled our trip.
    Luckily we got a refund for everythinh and instead were going to Devon.