Neglected Celebrities Lining Up For Super-Injunctions

LONDON – England – There have been reports from law courts of a remarkable increase in applications for super-injunction gagging orders because many now think this is the way to get massive publicity and catapult their waning celebrity careers.

Law firms across the UK have seen a huge increase in super-injunctionisation, according to statements from the High Court.

“Many of the UK’s D-list celebs and whatnot are clamouring for a piece of the super-injunction pie. It’s like rocket fuel for your career, the public just loves the game of ‘Guess the Super-Injunction Celebrity’ it is irresistible to many. Some people are so caught by the bug that they’re willing to go to jail to name the star on the internet,” an entertainment industry lawyer from a London firm told the Evening Standard.

Many has-been or upcoming celebrities have to spend gruelling stints in jungles eating cockroaches and lizards, or endure days in a reality household with a bunch of other narcissistic arsehole celebs to gain a modicum of increased fame or a book deal. Why not just get a super-injunction? You will be propelled into the celebresphere of British tabloid stardom and internet viral heaven.

“Getting a super-injunction now is just a license to get your name plastered on every social networking site in the world. You just can’t buy publicity like that,” PR consultant, Eddie Maliss, for the FX3 company in London told the BBC.