Comrade Starmer has hailed his increase in de-popularity in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. During the Labour Party Conference last week, every time Comrade Starmer spoke his popularity approval rating dropped by many points, and he is proud to announce it stands at minus 56 percent. Yes you read that correct proletariat scum that is -56% popularity rating.
The new poll from Opinium recorded the evidence of the massive fall in approval ratings, and the staff of the organisation have paid the ultimate price for their indiscretion. They were taken from their offices during working hours on Friday and liquidated. They have been processed into Net Zero Juice — that cool, refreshing drink.
“According to the poll, I am now less popular than a piece of shit that someone steps on whilst frolicking bare foot in the park. This is of no consequence of my supreme leadership skills, which have seen major soviet victories. It is I who appointed Commissar Rachel Reeves, who has increased mass poverty in the PRSB. Under her auspices, economic growth is 0.0003% and many wealthy capitalists have fled. Her profligate spending sprees, bribing Big State apparatchiks with pay and pension rises, has left the PRSB with a huge 70 billion soviet pound black hole. Bribing the civil service pays dividends in loyalty to the Big State and my popular rule,” comrade Starmer said from his dacha in Scunthorpe.
PRSB NEWS BULLETIN
WHEAT RATIONS FOR ALL CITIZENS WILL INCREASE BY 0.00001 GRAMS BY 2038, AND CHOCOLATE RATIONS WILL INCREASE BY 0.000000001 GRAMS FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS BEFORE HALTING FOREVER. ANY CITIZEN OF THE PRSB WHO IS CAUGHT BUYING BUTTER FROM UNAUTHORISED VENDORS WILL BE LIQUIDATED AND MADE INTO NET ZERO JUICE — THAT COOL, REFRESHING DRINK! PRSB TRAITOR COMMISSAR BURNHAM WILL BE EXECUTED ON TUESDAY 12:45 AT RED PARLIAMENT SQUARE. ALL CITIZENS ARE WELCOME TO THROW RED TOMATOES AND FAECES AT HIM BEFORE HE IS SHOT BY A FIRING SQUAD. HAVE A NICE FUCKING DAY!
