Alex Jones Wishing You a Prepper Christmas

TEXAS - USA - Deep in the Infowars Infoward bunker, chief info warrior, Alex Jones has broadcast a pre-Christmas announcement to all his followers.

By
Donald Rum
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alex-jones-relapse

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are nearing the end of America and the world. This is what we have been waiting for for so god damn long. I need you all to go through the check list for survival. Ammo, more ammo, lots more ammo and of course a little de-ionised water. Plus just for $49.95 you can have a tiny bottle of peace of mind and the knowledge that you will be safe from Beelzebub, or other Illuminati gods. Don’t forget to buy a box of my new Infoward Pneumatic Impulse serum, and I’ll throw in a fly swatter to keep out the DARPA robotic poison injecting devil flies from your bunker,” Alex Jones broadcast yesterday.

Here’s that checklist again:

1) Dose of fear

2) More fear and a bucket of NSA Go Away juice.

3) Shitloads of ammo

4) Anti-Illuminati serum

5) More f*cking fear

6) Aaargh!

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  • The Truth

    Jones makes a lot of money and pays his taxes to the IRS. He is worth a lot of money and is an industry. His product is FEAR. The US gov loves Alex Jones. Not only is he helping the economy with his taxes but he’s also good at pinpointing the kooks for DHS to check out..all they gotta do is checkout the comments sections on Infowars. Alex is like a honey trap shhhh don’t tell anyone.

  • Dudamo

    Americans generally believe everything they hear so people like Jones can milk them for as much as they can. Its fair game. Let the man make his money.

  • Guest

    What I find truly strange about the whole Infowars thing is how come they’re allowed to say all this stuff? They’re definitely protected by someone in government. I think it’s a way to make money off the fearful people and also predictive programming government intentions. You see if you get people to think about these things they can see it as normal when it comes around. Alex Jones is allowed to say those things for a reason because if he was really a subversive he would have been shut down ages ago. Think about the commercial side he and his organization are making serious bucks. That’s a clue right there.

    • Bankotsu

      Alex Jones may be a secret Obama agent? He is only pretending to be anti-Obama while secretly spreading fear among white people and conning them out of their money? What a ratbag!

  • Fraud Alert

    I actually met Alex once at the recent JFK rally. I saw steam coming from his ears. It was like he blew a gasket.

  • FU bankotsu

    A truly fake website has to the words” awaiting moderation ” when you post somthing on it

  • FU bankotsu

    This page doesn’t support Alex Jones’s real message in any way
    look at the f***ing photo they used….

    • Del Ray

      You must be dumb.

    • SamOfTheChalk

      Yes, that is the point. This website is anti his message.

  • Bankotsu
    • anonymous77946 .

      did you know one of the main infowars reporter is black

      • Bankotsu

        So? Alex Jones’ wife is jewish, so Alex Jones is a puppet of the jews too?

        • Jordan

          If you go to rense.com, you’ll find out a lot of folks believe that. I tend to avoid the place, as the hate is blatant there.

        • anonymous77946 .

          i dont think that makes him a puppet of the jews do you?

        • Arbus67

          Now I know why Alex is so into making money. His Jewish wife is making all the deals. It’s all starting to make sense now.

    • CanuckleDragger

      I don’t think he is a complete and total fraud and charlatan. I think he believes everything he says. He just happens to be nuts. There’s a difference.

  • john smith

    Gawd this man is insane

  • DON RuM

    fuck you don rum

    • Jim

      Hi don rum. Do you realize you just said fuck you toyourself ?