17.7 C
London
Tuesday, May 7, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldIndustry of Human Rights Lawyers Threaten Strike if Illegal Channel Migrants Stop

Industry of Human Rights Lawyers Threaten Strike if Illegal Channel Migrants Stop

DOVER - England - Angry human rights lawyers are threatening to strike after a proposed crackdown on illegal migrant Channel crossings.

There has been outrage and condemnation of the proposed new law from Home Secretary Suella Braverman to send illegal economic migrants trafficked across the English Channel back to where they came from. Human rights lawyers who have amassed massive fortunes by using government legal aid are now threatening to strike.

“This is an outrage, I just bought my third Maserati only yesterday. Who the hell am I going to parasite myself off from now? Do you think I fucking care about these Albanians, or whoever they are? When I see another overfull dinghy coming over the Channel, my already overflowing bank account dings, and my mouth starts watering,” a lawyer for law firm Pillage & Plunder revealed in the Guardian.

Whenever another dinghy is escorted to shore in Dover, crowds of human rights lawyers immediately accost the illegal migrants all baying for business, before the migrants are bussed off to a four-star hotel to stay in luxury and fast-tracked to be UK citizens without any checks.

“We are treated like kings. I have two lawyers working for me, and the five-star hotel is luxurious. I have breakfast, then maybe a sauna before a gourmet lunch. Not only that, but I then saunter into town to try and groom some underage schoolgirls to come to my room. Because of my protected status, I am untouchable and can commit any heinous crime without prosecution, especially with my trusty team of human rights lawyers working for me. Excuse me, ah, it’s time for me to go and find some young English pussy to mistreat,” a man who looks like he is 35-years-old but told authorities he is a 9-year-old child, revealed from his luxury migrant hotel.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

3 COMMENTS

  1. Nothing is going to change. I am actually thinking of training to be a lawyer so I can cash in on the trade. After a few years I would retire at 40 to a tropical island somewhere and live the good life plenty of sea, sangria, sex and sun.

  2. This is a lucrative business. Nothing will change because the ECHR dictates British law. Too much money to be made off trafficking.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »