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King Charles III Orders All Leaky Fountain Pens to Be Decapitated

NORTHERN IRELAND - King Charles had a blot of ink rage the other day. It gave him the opportunity to order his first decree.


“It’s those blasted leaky fountain pens!” The newly appointed King Charles III ranted as another ink blot splatted across his immaculately presented white shirt.

“Camilla, look at this bloody thing! I hereby decree as King of this realm that all fountain pens are taken to the Tower of London and summarily decapitated!” Charlie shouted, shaking with indignant anger.

Charles Ink Rage

WHSmiths worker, Nibby Blots, 25, from Kingston Upon Hull, emphatically agreed with the king’s sentiments.

“We have to sell these things with a smile on our face. Customers keep returning them, and they don’t have a smile on their face…(dealing with new customer) Would you like a 20p plastic bag, sir?”

Blot on the Landscape

Camilla, always the battle horse, dealt with the blotty nightmare with ease.

“Look, I signed the book. One has to position the pen at a certain angle to allow the ink to flow freely and write with ease without blotting.”

All is otherwise well in the Kingdom.

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