Being Pessimistic is Actually Being Optimistic Say Experts

LONDON - England - In a world such as we live in today, having a negative outlook is actually positive, say social psychologist experts.

“Let’s face it, the world today is an extremely cruel and unforgiving place. Make a mistake and everyone in the universe knows about it, no privacy, no second chances and economically there are multiple variables constantly pushing you towards the poor house. Therefore, to be happy and optimistic all the time is actually dangerous to your health, and you will follow your certain doom like a smiling lemming if you carry on being happy. We studied American Obama voters during the elections and analysed their faces. They were being sold hope, and they fell for it hook line and sinker. There is only one human emotion more powerful than fear and that is hope. Because of those people who were projecting their happiness and undying trust on that politician, the Americans are all now in a bigger hole than before. Now instead of being a lemming, if you are negative in your outlook, you can see the dangers and the threats to any situation, therefore you will not fall into the trap of trusting your enemies however much they promise you things and smile at you. This is the positive nature of negativity. All this New Age stuff, or supposed positivity foisted on the public is there to disarm humans. You are not free when they tell you you are happy and should feel happy as long as you follow their doctrines, you are simply putty in the hands of those who exploit your happiness and positive conditioning,” one of the scientists on the project revealed in the New Scientist.

The study showed that people who were overly optimistic all the time were easily conned and could be manipulated to do things for others, of course all the while smiling at their fate.

“True positivity lies in pessimism, because you can see the reality of the situation and do not follow blindly. People who are happy all the time are essentially targets who can easily be erradicated with little effort. They are unarmed, defenceless. There’s nothing funny or humourous with that premise, that you will be used endlessly for being happy go lucky and fun,” another social scientist on the project wrote on the research paper.

What a bunch of miserable bastards eh.