Brits Abroad Stabbing Holidays All the Rage This Summer

MARMARIS - Turkey - There's nothing like a good stabbing frenzy on holiday. Brits are flocking to the Mediterranean this summer to agitate the locals and get a good stabbing, says the Home Office.

“It’s wonderful, you go and try and kiss a Kurdish girl and the whole family comes after you with knives. Does wonders for your fitness levels I tell you,” Graham Lout, 21, said from his Turkish hospital bed after getting stabbed over twenty times and surviving.

It’s not only the tribal Kurds in Turkey who are stab happy, but the Cretans are getting into the act as well.

“We see a Brit on holiday getting their bits out and fondling our women, drunk off their trolleys, pissing all over the place; well then its stabbing time for them,” Nicos Kotsoulis, 26, from Crete said from his prison cell.

Looks like it’s not just egg and chips Brits want, coming home to Blighty nursing a few slash wounds is a great talking point down the pub and the Daily Mail.