Even Al Fayed Visits Prince Philip in Hospital

LONDON - England - With a marked absence of any royal visitors to Birthday Boy Prince Philip in hospital, Al Fayed has made an effort and is visiting with an old hamper he rustled up from a previous business enterprise of his.

“I got to visit my fuggin’ friend because the royals don’t. Okay, he hates me really but I like the fuggin’ old boot, he was maybe driving that mysterious white Fiat in Paris but I forgive him for that too. I don’t own Harrods anymore but I got him a fuggin’ expensive fuggin’ hamper full of fuggin’ booze he like,” Mohamed Al Fayed said after the visit.

It is rumoured that Mr Al-Fayed also stuffed a few brown envelopes in the Prince’s hamper in his bid for British citizenship.

“No I fugging well did not,” Mr Fayed said outside the hospital before being whisked away in a Bentley.