crazy eyes

Have you got the Junckers? Is your brain having a Bercow? Do you want to projectile vomit whenever you see a Verhofstadt?

Welcome to Brexit Insanity Syndrome (BIS) a clinical condition that can only be cured by drastic measures.

One minute Brexit is about to happen, then the next minute it is delayed for three more years, then there is a sudden break through in Brussels, then parliament rejects the deal, and this is all after three wasteful years where absolutely NOTHING has been achieved.

One can only feel for the trials and tribulations of poor old Boris Johnson, as he is thwarted by an assortment of court cases, corrupt Speakers of the House, deranged zealot Conservative remainer de-whipped MPs, and an opposition party that votes down every single thing the poor PM tries to introduce.

We can only wish the PM’s special advisor (SPAD) Cummings comes up with a plan so cunning that even Blackadder himself would fall over his codpiece in awe and wonder at its magnificence. Until that moment happens, many of us will now be resigned to waking up in the middle of the night sweating like a lone choir boy at a Catholic priest convention, and crying out in our sleep for Brexit to be over and the people’s vote to be completed and honoured finally.


How do you know if you have Brexit Insanity Syndrome?

Professor Clive Mandible, from Oxford university suggests that there are a few clues that will clearly diagnose your Brexit suffering.

“If you have sudden urges to throw your television through the window, or rip up your newspaper with all those Brexit headlines, then you may be suffering from Brexit Insanity Syndrome. Bashing your head against the wall whenever you hear the word Brexit is another symptom, as is projectile vomiting over everything as soon as another Brexit debate is aired on all channels.”


Is there a cure for Brexit Insanity Syndrome? How about winning a shedload of money with betting promotions on, or getting a Forex account to watch your hard earned money go down the toilet on the GBP/USD pair just after another fucking Brexit headline that turns out to be false when you haven’t put the stop loss on yet.

As of yet, there is no known cure for Brexit Insanity Syndrome apart from Brexit actually happening so that we can all get on with our bloody lives and not hear the incessant droning of remoaners and politicians all day and night.