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Extinction Rebellion Members Facing Extinction

CANNING TOWN - London - Extinction Rebellion members are feared to face extinction soon.


Extinction Rebellion’s reign of Marxist lunacy in London finally hit the rocks today when commuters took matters into their own hands and pulled activists from a tube train before kicking seven shades of shit out of the bastards.

“It was beautiful to watch. Here was some farted up Islington Waitrose shopping Extinction Rebellion twit waving his Prosecco around standing on a tube train saying we were all going to die horribly for taking the train to work, when he got pulled off like a fat blubbery baby seal into shark infested waters,” one jovial onlooker remarked.

People have had enough as the Extinction Rebellion eco-protest enters its 11th day disrupting central London and major airports.

“Extinction Rebellion is now extinct. We have had enough, and the Canning Town boys showed these middle class ponces and their hypocritical ways where to go. We’ll stuff ’em and put ’em in the Natural History museum for all to see,” another commuter said after dealing with one of the Extinction Rebellion men on the train.

Despite the police arresting 1,711 protesters since Monday, they still keep coming.

The group’s leaders who are trained agitators and paid extremely high salaries by unknown sources (George Soros) vowed to carry on with their disruptive operations on public transport and the roads, simply because they are paid vast sums to organise large crowds of people to protest.

“I’m under contract, so I have to organise and agitate the crowds or I get the sack. Listen, I’ve got a mortgage, three kids at private school, a high maintenance wife who demands Tuscany holidays every year, and a Maserati. I can’t just stop, I’d lose everything,” one of the organisers explained to the Guardian newspaper.

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