Eurozone Contagion: Germans Now Getting Lazy

DUSSELDORF - Germany - The German people are now becoming like their Southern European counterparts a new study has revealed.

“We’re getting lazy like the Greeks. Yesterday I couldn’t even be bothered to get out of bed let alone run my super efficient car manufacturing business,” Karl Meinoff, a car factory owner from Dusseldorf told Bild magazine.

Germans used to be known as super efficient workers with vast reserves of energy and intelligence, unfortunately since joining the Euro, they are now getting lazier, and some say stupider.

“I was cooking dinner yesterday, usually wiener and apple strudel when I had the sudden urge to make a kebab and some souvlaki. I then sat around the table drinking ouzo all night talking about how terrible it is to pay tax. You can guess what my boss said to me when I went into work mid afternoon the next day with a terrible hangover, he said I looked like a Greek and he docked my pay for the month,” a distraught worker told local radio station, RTF3.

All over Germany, production has slumped as workers do not feel the need to work anymore. Moral amongst the workforce is very low.

“Our Southern European friends live the easy life, they swim, drink, laze in the sun, and eat good food. They retire at 45 on full pensions, whereas we have to work till 67 to get a pension. They work three day weeks while we have to work sometimes six or seven days a week. Why should we do that when they get the same money as us or even more? I just told my boss I want a two week holiday, the first in five years, and he told me to get lost,” Gunther Heizel, an office worker from Berlin told a local news outlet.