17.7 C
London
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBritish Troops Told to Finish Training Afghan Troops to Kill British Troops

British Troops Told to Finish Training Afghan Troops to Kill British Troops

HELMAND - Afghanistan - British commanders have vowed to finish the British mission of training Afghan soldiers to kill British troops more efficiently.

“We’re training the Afghan troops on how they can shoot us better and more effectively,” Colonel Alistair Clarke, told the BBC’s Lyse Faucet.

Only last week six British troops were shot dead by Afghan troops and the British top brass do not think this is a good enough record.

“They need to shoot with more accuracy, so we train the Afghan troops on how to shoot their target with more accuracy. For example, yesterday I was training an Afghan regiment and one of the fellas tried to shoot me with his gun but it jammed, now that was unfortunate, and after I unjammed his weapon he shot me in the leg twice,” Staff Sergeant, Lewis Deano, of the Queen’s Royal Rifle Regiment told reporters from his hospital bed in Helmand.

British troops in Afghanistan have so far trained thousands of Afghan troops to shoot British troops, and by the daily shooting record, they are doing a damn fine job of it.

“We’re appreciated here. We train them to shoot us, and they do it. This is why we’re in Afghanistan, innit?” Private Taffy Jones, told the BBC, before being shot dead in his base, yesterday.

There are currently no plans for the British NATO troops to be evacuated from the country where they are training Afghan troops to kill British soldiers, they are adamant that what they are doing is a very important mission and they want to finish it successfully.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!