India to Give Britain Financial Aid

NEW DELHI - India - The Indian finance minister, Pranab Mukherjee, has revealed that his country will give aid to the UK for the very first time in the country's history.

Speaking from a slum in New Delhi, the Indian finance minister revealed that India will be giving the UK aid of peanuts, sixty five tonnes of peanuts, to be precise, which will be delivered to the UK each year until they are refused.

“Well, they gave us peanuts with £1.6 billion, so we would like to repay them with actual peanuts. You know how the old saying goes, if you pay us peanuts, you’ll get peanuts,” Mr Mukherjee said as he stepped on a beggar’s outstretched hand.

Help us fight for freedom — you get unique goodies too…