17.7 C
London
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBenefits Bonanza Means Increase in 3D TV Sales

Benefits Bonanza Means Increase in 3D TV Sales

MACCLESFIELD - England - The Chancellor's 6% increase in benefits payments means that the sales of high tech gadgets and leisure activities will increase thanks to the taxpayer.

buy squib book

Sales of 3D TVs, Playstations and jacuzzis are set to increase because of the Chancellor’s generous benefits increase.

“This means that I can get that 56 inch 3D TV I’ve had my eye on for a couple of months. We’ve got all the gadgets at home and thanks to Georgie boy, we’re going to get the latest stuff,” Robbie Munter, 25, from Disley, Cheshire, told the BBC.

There were cheers felt in all benefits offices across the country as people queuing up for their giro heard the wonderful news.

No More Riots

Tracy Hodkins, 35, who has never had a job in her life was absolutely delighted with the wonderful news: “It means more booze for me and my kids. We might even go to the South of France for another taxpayer funded holiday. Thank you from the bottom of my arse, you taxpayers are lovely. I’ve just got one of my boyfriends to dump my old 67 inch plasma screen in the garden, so I can get the latest thing, innit.”

PC World/Curries and Argos have already seen a huge increase in orders for high end electronic items as well as gadgets.

“As soon as there’s an increase in benefits payments like this latest windfall payment by George Osborne, we notice a massive increase in sales of top items like 3D TVs etc. It is indeed good to see that these people are giving back to the economy. In essence, the taxpayer funds them to stay at home and watch their tellies, drink booze and smoke loads of weed all day and night. The taxpayer pays them to pay us. So, it is really good for the economy,” Keith Beattie, Managing Director of electronics firm, PC World, told industry magazine, Commerce Weekly.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

3 COMMENTS

  1. Good this means I will be able to have a second skiing holiday for me and my 10 kids and 3 boyfriends.

  2. We didn't get enough.

    my giro won't cover the basic necessity for a boob job for the girlfriend; notwithstanding a trout pout for the grandmother and a vagazzle for my 14 year old daughter!

  3. I had to cancel my full Sky TV package and both my gym and golf memberships last week due to my new job.

    I knew I should have stayed on benefits.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »