17.7 C
Friday, December 8, 2023
secret satire society
secret satire society
secret satire society
secret satire society
HomeWorldMary Bale Banned From Zoo Visits

Mary Bale Banned From Zoo Visits

COVENTRY - England - Serial cat napper, Mary Bale, has been banned from ever visiting any zoos in the UK or worldwide, a court has ruled.

buy squib book

“Mary Bale has been given a ban on ever visiting a zoo in her lifetime. We think this is unjust behaviour and will take this ridiculous ruling to the High Court if we have to,” Solicitor David Bairns representing Ms Bail at Coventry Magistrates Court told the Coventry Herald.

Ms Bail, who now lives at a secret location and is under constant surveillance for her own safety, did not comment as she left court yesterday, instead she hissed at reporters like an angry cat before fleeing in an unmarked van.

Joanne Leeming, a zoologist at Birmingham zoo said: “I think this is wonderful news. I mean, what if she came along and tried to dump a penguin or a Capuchin monkey in a bin? We’ve got some endangered species here, we certainly don’t want the likes of Mary Bale upsetting our animals.”

The court ruling forbids Ms Bail from coming within 50 feet of a zoo or any live or dead animal for the rest of her life. If she is reported or spotted on CCTV she could be jailed for up to five years if convicted.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift For Christmas. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -




The perfect stocking filler this Christmas or something to scare your grandmother with. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Now Reduced to only £9.95

Translate »