Daily Squib Reader Offer: Luxury Cruises Off Coast of Israel

INTERNATIONAL WATERS - Mediterranean Sea - The Daily Squib is offering every reader an offer they can't refuse. How about a luxury cruise along the Israel coast ending in a 10 year stop off in an Israeli prison?

You and your family could be off on a cruise of a lifetime off the coast of Israel — that is if you survive for more than a week after departure.

Imagine waking up to the wonderful sunrise on the beautiful open ocean and seeing a helicopter lowering some armed thugs with automatic weapons and grenades onto the deck.

Why not try to defend your friends and family with sticks and marbles whilst being shot in the kneecaps by crazed zionists.

Want a game of shuffleboard on deck? How about shuffling the Israeli grenades and flash bombs instead before your brutal arrest and capture.

Enjoy the ship’s luxury cabins as injured passengers are dealt with on bloodied stretchers. Don’t forget to show your face in the ship’s ballroom where you can be handcuffed and interrogated by MOSSAD agents then taken away to secret prisons on the Israel mainland. Count yourself lucky if you’re still alive.

Itinerary

Day 1 : Set sail from Cyprus. Enjoy your freedom and life while you still have it.

Day 2 : Get boarded by armed Israeli commandos. Try to fight them off with sticks and throw stones at them. Get shot.

Day 3: Enjoy a lengthy stopover in a secret prison in Israel where electrodes will be attached to your genitals on a daily basis.

* For an extra supplement of £250 pp you can enjoy a day’s guided tour of the ruins of the Gaza strip.