17.7 C
Sunday, June 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldUS Honours More Deaths of Innocent Iraqis Murdered from Miles Away by...

US Honours More Deaths of Innocent Iraqis Murdered from Miles Away by Helicopters

BAGHDAD - Iraq - With the American forces hiding away in their fortress bases; the only fun that is left for them is to shoot innocent Iraqis (insurgents) from the safety of their helicopters.

“It’s like a turkey shoot out there. Anyone walking on the streets that looks like a towel head, we mow down with our 50 cal. guns. It’s a bit like video games. Hell, we shoot women, children, dogs, anything that moves. Anyway, I’m happy to receive my medal of honor, for killing thousands of Iraqi untermenschen in cold blood from miles away while I was sitting in my helicopter safe and sound,” Lieutenant Ronald Waskowick, told the applauding crowds after his homecoming ceremony.

The fortified American bases are full to the brim with soldiers whose job it is to oversee that Iraqi trainee ground troops get shot daily by the few Iraqis who choose to fight back.


“Ever since we got our fortified bases built, we don’t dare go out into the streets of Iraq unless we’re in a chopper or plane. Getting shot and having limbs blown off is now the job of the ill equipped Iraqi conscripts, and hell, we don’t care about them, let the towel heads shoot each other. The lesser of the Muj’s the better it is for us. Some day we’re gonna make this place like America, you know, fast food joints, strip joints, bars and casinos on every corner. We want Iraq to be the Reno or Vegas of the Middle East,” the Lieutenant added.

Indeed, many Americans are thoroughly bored in Iraq now because it’s just too easy to murder Iraqi civilians and get medals. Some military superiors are even talking about shooting civilians with guns on the street instead of from twenty miles away through an Apache’s video system.

“Yesterday I shot up thirty kids playing soccer in a street, I got me a medal for that too goddamnit. They must have been insurgents because one of them was holding a stick. It’s some good killing out there. After I shot those children, I was laughing so hard we nearly crashed,” another US pilot told the applauding crowds before receiving the Purple Heart medal. Donate to

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. The less muslims on this earth the better were just cleaning house that’s all.

  2. Those ragheads deserved what they got,

    i aint gonna shed no tears for them if ur in Iraq u deserve to get shot by us.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »