17.7 C
Thursday, April 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeMost PopularTen Year Old Makes Functioning Mini Hadron Collider in Bedroom

Ten Year Old Makes Functioning Mini Hadron Collider in Bedroom

WILLIAMSBURG - USA - A ten year old boy has baffled scientists at the CERN Institute and around the world, by building a fully functioning Hadron Collider in his tiny bedroom.

He may only be 10-years-old but Jim Payton, from a small town in Massachusetts, has built a fully functioning Hadron Collider in his bedroom. Now dubbed as the ‘Collider Boy’ by the media, he is finding new found fame and worldwide scientific accolades.

“I had the idea after watching eighties movie, Weird Science, as well as the current CERN Hadron Collider live web stream footage. I incorporated the synchotron from bicycle parts found in my dad’s shed. The high energy particle accelerator already collides protons at over 12 teraelectronvolts, which is a phenomenal amount of energy and supersedes anything that CERN has achieved so far. What the adults at CERN neglected to understand is that, small is big when it comes to supersymmetry, and as you can see, I have replicated their particle collider on a miniature scale that is much more efficient and powerful.”

It has taken Jim Payton over three years to make the Collider in his room and his parents have been very supportive of his work.

Jim’s father Peter would provide his son with the parts he needed by ordering them from specialised outlets whilst his mother would provide plenty of cookies and milk.

Jim wants to patent his Mini Hadron Collider so that anyone can buy one.

“The possibilities are endless, especially regarding other dimensions and dark matter. During our initial firing up process there was an incredible bright light and a bunch of quark-gluon plasma swallowed up my cat Tubbs. We don’t know where he is now, but hope he’s OK.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. I have my doubts about this the amount of electric used when powering the particle accelerator will blow all the fuses. I don't think a ten year old can do it but if he has its amazing! wow!!

  2. but this article didnt conclude how he has assembled the parts…..so i didn;t thnk its all true……

  3. I would love to get a look at this device. It's an amazing accomplishment! I wonder though, what is the power consumption of this unit? Is it as nearly as astronomical as the LHC?

  4. Brenda the same could be said about anything your car your, hair dryer or even the toothpaste you use every morning. if that kind of mindset existed in everyone fire wouldn't even have been invented. We would be living in trees because we would could be eaten if we can down. good luck in life I'm sure that you will go far (NOT!!!). Kid good going keep up the good work God has given you a great gift use it wisely and remember "with great power comes great responsibility". have fun.

  5. I can’t believe they allowed this little boy to put his life at risk like this.
    What if it exploded or caught fire? Don’t the Americans have standards of safety like in the UK?
    It beggars belief……..

  6. This is incredible. It’s really refreshing to see what some kids are capable of these days. I just had to stand back in awe after reading this story. WOW

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »