17.7 C
London
Sunday, April 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldAl Qaeda: Only Terminally Ill Terrorists Need Apply

Al Qaeda: Only Terminally Ill Terrorists Need Apply

HELMAND - Afghanistan - Islamic terrorist organisations are now only recruiting terminally ill jihadists to blow up Western aeroplanes say CIA agents.

The word on the
street is that terrorist organisations are now only recruiting
terminally ill terrorists to carry out their dirty deeds.

“Once
our operators carry out their heroic deeds like blowing up passenger
planes full of Americans we know they will be treated leniently
especially if they are caught by the British authorities. We know that
they will simply be let off to come home and receive a hero’s welcome.
We must be careful not to be caught by the Americans however, because
we have heard that they do not take kindly to terrorists, but Scotland
and England no problem,” an Al Qaeda commander revealed to Al Jazeera
news service.

Thanks to the
British government’s complacent and lenient nature with regards to
terrorists worldwide, they now have a free Get Out of Jail card.

“It does not
matter how terrible the atrocities committed by the terrorists are, we
will release them on compassionate grounds so that they can revel in their notoriety and rejoice
amongst their fellow terrorists when they are released back to their
homelands,” Scottish parliamentarian, Kenny MacGrahi announced at
Holyrood today.

Looks like it’s a win win situation for the world’s terrorists thanks to British law and underhand oil deals in dodgy Middle Eastern countries.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »