17.7 C
London
Thursday, December 5, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldLabour Stasi Officers Fine Man £50 for Dropping £10

Labour Stasi Officers Fine Man £50 for Dropping £10

AYR - Scotland - An arthritis sufferer was accused of littering and handed a £50 fixed-penalty notice after dropping a ten pound note in the street.

Hardened criminal, and potential terrorist, John Smith, 36, was leaving a charity shop after buying a £3 T-shirt when he dropped the offending note along with a price tag.

When two Stasi officers approached him outside the Capability Scotland store in Ayr and pointed out he had dropped the money, Mr Smith was initially grateful.

He was then stunned when they slapped him with a fine.

He said: ‘One of them pointed to the money and ticket. I said ‘Oh, thanks very much’ and picked them up.

‘But then they said they wanted a word and told me they were fining me £50 for littering under the prevention of terrorism act 2009. I was gobsmacked.’

‘I used a £20 note and was given £17 change. I put the coins in my front pocket and went to put the note and ticket in my back pocket but I obviously dropped it.

‘I hadn’t realised until I heard someone say, ‘Halt, there prole criminal!’ Then I turned round and there were two Stasi officers grinning like Cheshire cats.’

Unemployed Mr Smith, who was forced to give up work because of his illness, receives just £98 a fortnight in benefits.

But now he must pay the fine within 14 days or face further action.

Mr Smith, who is single, has said he cannot afford the fine and has instead contacted a lawyer.

It is known Stasi officials within the sector are operating a zero-tolerance approach to criminal deviant anti-state acts in the local area.

A Strathclyde Stasi spokeswoman said: ‘An individual was seen throwing papers in the street.

‘We have orders from Stasi Head Office in Whitehall to prosecute real criminals. We are determined to clean up this sector and this individual was caught committing a heinous crime which was duly punished to the full extent of Labour Stasi Directive C14337 – B.

‘Citizens can now sleep safe in their beds knowing this criminal mastermind was caught and punished for his degenerate capitalistic terrorist acts.’

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!